Yesterday, I met a man. Not in a bar, not in a club, not somewhere sleazy. We met at 798. I'm giving out this detail to indicate why I was more receptive than usual to chatting with this guy since we weren't in a cheapie, hookup joint. He seemed nice so I agreed to meet him that evening for a quick drink at Centro. Ok, not the most creative location but hey, it's down the street from my office and due to the sad lack of chivalry in this town, I considered his willingness to brave traffic down from 798 to CBD as a grand gesture. (Hey, when you're starving, any crumb of bread looks delicious!)
He paid for the first round of martinis. I insisted on covering the second round. "Ah, you Western girls," he said appreciatively in his sexy northern European accent. "Nice to be out with a girl who can treat me." I smiled, pleased.
Two martinis for each of us later, the mood was relaxed and the chat was getting flirtatious. But it was a work night so around midnight, I indicated that I was ready to go home. "Your place or mine?" he asked, patting my bum.
I scooted away from his hand. "I'm going home to sleep."
"Sure you are," he laughed and winked.
"No, really."
He looked shocked. Shaking his head in disbelief he walked off, but not before muttering "Damn hardass Western girls."
Since when did buying a girl one martini entitle a man to public groping and an assumption of sex? Oh yea, in China.
If "western girl" means having enough self-respect not to hop into bed with a man I've known for less than six hours in gratitude for one lousy 60 kuai dry martini, then I'm proud to be a hardass Western girl.
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15 comments:
"Since when did buying a girl one martini entitle a man to public groping and an assumption of sex?"
From what I've seen, pretty much any nightclub catering to 17-21 year olds in Great Britain. If it's near an army base, you don't even need the martini. Half a bottle of watermelon Bacardi Breezer will do the trick.
Well, American girls have a reputation about being "very easy" so they are naturally targets for men from traditional countries.
I love this blog. It reminds me how dirty and low my blog has become.
Obviously you must have led him on. Perhaps it was subconcious.
What really happened:
Yesterday, I met a girl. Not in a bar, not in a club, not somewhere sleazy. We met at 798. I'm giving out this detail to indicate why I was more receptive than usual to chatting with this girl since we weren't in a cheapie, hookup joint. She seemed nice so I agreed to meet her that evening for a quick drink at Centro. Ok, not the most creative location but hey, it's a "signal" kind of place. If a girl agrees to meet later at Centro, you know it's a sure thing. If she wants to meet elsewhere, you know you've got a bit more work to do to land that fish. (Hey, when you're horny, any bit of fluff looks beddable!)
I paid for the first round of martinis, of course. Girls may pretend to be modern, but they always seem to wait until the second round to do the "dutch" thing, and sure enough, she insisted on covering the second round. "Ah, you Western girls," I said appreciatively in my northern European accent, hoping to make up for my bad English with sincere compliments. "Nice to be out with a girl who can treat me." She smiled, pleased.
Two martinis for each of us later, the mood was relaxed and the chat was getting flirtatious. But it was a work night so around midnight, I indicated that I was ready to go home. "Your place or mine?" I asked, leaning closer.
She moved away as if she'd been burnt. "I'm going home to sleep."
"Sure you are," I laughed and winked.
"No, really."
I was a bit shocked. Talk about mixed signals! Women want men to read their minds, to not have to ask, there we were at the Centro after some fine conversation and some excellent beverages, and she was going home alone!
She seemed to realise something was wrong. "Now I bet you think I'm one of those 'damn hardass Western girls'" she said, mocking my accent and sentence structure.
Suddenly I snapped back to where we were. Oh yeah, in China. Nowhere else can a sophisticated evening with someone, where you get seven different kinds of come-on, end with basically an accusation of pre-meditated sexual harassment.
If "hardass Western girl" means that you react angrily to a hint of a one-night stand, if you haven't yet learnt the art of polite refusal to a very low-key and no-pressure suggestion, then, yeah, I guess that's what she was.
Haha, sorry Peking Man... I have to agree with the "Hardass Western Girl", your approach was not polite at all! How can you invite someone to bed directly without even properly kissing her? ^_^°
Nice blog girls! I guess if more Chinese girls could write in English, they would add some worse experience to it... sometimes being a foreigner entitles you to more respect than what is tributed to local girls by both laowai and Chinese guys...
You need to read more carefully. I didn't "invite her to bed", I asked her if she'd like to continue the evening in the privacy of her home or mine.
That could have lead to sex. But it also could have lead to more conversation. To be honest I was hoping for both, but would have settled for "No thanks, but let's meet again."
But, instead, as I said, I got accusations of sexual harassment made on a blog. From a girl that, as you point out, I hadn't even kissed.
Well, like breeds like. I've responded my own blog
Hi Peking Man,
of course I was not there and I can only judge on what you both write, which is actually the same thing:
"But it was a work night so around midnight, I indicated that I was ready to go home."
Regardless of who said it out, to me it sounds quite clearly as something to conclude the evening. "I'm ready to go" implying going to sleep and get good rest for next working day.
Anyway, if there ever was a misunderstanding, quite possible indeed for non-mothertongues as you (and me, BTW) are, best thing is to clarify.
Good Luck!
Kuang Biye
Hey expat girls:
Have you ever stopped to make the comparison between today's expat bars and the foreign men in them and those old basement parties you used to go to in college?
Then there is the "oversensitive" to criticism crowd over at sinocidal who all cry and moan whenever you turn on the light and they can see how screwed up they are.
So let me get this straight... You're a horny girl in China blogging about how hard it is to get laid. Then a guy you had some interest in asked to spend the night with you.
Scandalous!
I'm thinking you ladies need to either buy a vibrator to solve your "pain in the neck".
Are you saying that this is exclusively typical China?
The strongest impression this blog has given me has nothing to do with Chinese people or Chinese culture at all--it's simply the intensity of the culture shock that American women experience when being hit on by European men.
I guess it's established that American women think Chinese men are gross and want nothing to do with them, and also that American men dig Chinese women and will do anything to get with one. So I guess the only interesting thing left to say is how creepy European men are (as if there weren't plenty of American men who are disgusting in their own ways...)
I live in LA. The guys here are the same. They usually expect sex immediately. The expect sex if you wear a sleeveless shirt or dress. It is enough for them if you smile. China doesn't sound that much different than here. I lived in NYC and it as better there, but only a little bit. I think, in general, a good man is hard to find. Men are angry at women, women are angry at men, no one knows how to define our gender roles, etc.
Im going ot be living in Shanghai for a year next year with 4 guys and one girl. Your blog makes me laugh!! Please tell me it isnt that bad there!
Sara
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