The whole evening was so civilized I hardly knew what to do with myself. Not once did an overweight, balding, white man twice my age try to drag me onto the dancefloor. In fact, there wasn't even one of those around! Not once did I trip over an adolescent kid passed out on the floor. When making small talk, I was shocked to find that everybody had a job! Not once did I hear the words/phrases "chic," "hot mamma," "pussy," "fuckable" or "get me some tail tonight." No Frenchman licked my arm! No Frenchie stalked me into a cab! No guy tried to impress me with the fact that he knew how to say hello (badly!) in the local language. The man who offered to buy me a drink actually had enough cash on him to pay for it!
Oh, Toto, we're not in Beijing anymore!