Here's a reader submission from T.
"Good Grief! Thanks China Dirt for pulling the curtain on the sham that is expat men in China! It's so good to have found a kindred spirit.
In fairytales, the toad turns into a prince after a kiss. In Beijing, the prince turns into a toad.
In the most recent installment of the horror flick that is dating in Beijing, I met this expat guy. Let's call him "The Pretender." I met him at The Bookworm through a friend. At first I thought he had "dating material" written all over him. I mean, cute smile, great sense of humor, and maybe the only guy in this city who doesn't smoke (I hate a guy who smells like an ashtray!). We texted a few times, and the banter was pretty hot. So I was happy to go to a dinner with him the following weekend. THAT was a mistake! I mean, it started out pretty good. I'm a vegetarian and he was pretty respectful of that. We settled on Hatsune. We talked about him, mostly. He is an English teacher, but making a documentary about AIDS in China (I wish I'd only read your post on FHM's). He recommend a pretty pricey glass of wine for me and a beer for himself. I found that to be sexy because I like a take charge kind of guy.
That all changed, however... (For all you guys reading this, there are some things you SHOULD know! If you ask a girl out on a date, you should pay. Period. I believe in equal rights and everything, but it's not rocket science that a little chivalry gets you a long way)
So the check came and the following conversation was had:
Me: "So thanks for dinner! That was great"
TP: "Uh... so you owe like 150?"
Me: "Ex...Excuse me?"
TP (showing me the mai dan):"Yeah, so you had a glass of wine, which was a little bit more than my beer"
Me: (thinking) "Are you being facetious, you cheap bastard?"
Me: (actually) "Um, okay?"
I shoulda taken this as a warning sign. But like the romantic masochist that I am, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. So he invited me back to his apartment to watch "Apocalypto" (which is the worst date movie EVER, btw), for some reason I agreed. And by "apartment," he meant skanky dorm room. Almost immediate upon entering his v. humble abode, he almost toppled me over in an attempt to marry his tongue to my tonsils.
Me: "Umm, hello?"TP: "shhhh."
Me: "What's the rush?"(let's just pause for dramatic effect here)
TP: "I can't have girls over in my dorm after 11, but I just wanted to express my feelings"
WHAT? Did that just happen? Are we in boarding school? I am utterly mystified by how guys like this are allowed to exist. If you're going to be this lame, at least lie about it."
Guys like this ARE allowed to exist. For about a week, I was having a really terrible time at work and the boy I had just recently started dating called me up and said he wanted to take me to dinner bc "I was having such a rough week." Apparently his interpretation of taking me out was to pay for the taxi but split the final check.