Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Why I'll never understand men

When I first moved to Beijing, I got myself a boyfriend and was quickly sucked into the expat party circuit. My Thursday through Saturday nights were a constellation of destinations like Kai, Nanjie, Vics, Taku (I was living out in the Wu at that time) and other ever-so-classy spots. One night, boyfriend, me and friends were out in Sanlitun when a table of Americans, two guys and two girls, sat down near us. As the night progressed it seemed that no matter where we were on the Sanlitun strip, the same group was in our vicinity. Finally around 3am one of the girls of the group approached me and I had one of the weirdest conversations I'd ever had in my life.

GIRL (pointing at my boyfriend): "Is that your boyfriend?"
ME: "Yeah."
GIRL (pointing back at nervous looking guy behind her): "My friend thinks you're amazingly cute. You should go say hi."
ME: "Um... I'll have to pass on that. You see I'm already with someone. Thanks though."

As I turn to escape, she clamps onto my arm and pulls me close to her and whispers hurriedly, "No, I mean my friend really likes you. I think he's going to fight your boyfriend."
ME: "..."
GIRL: "Really, my friend wants to fight your boyfriend."
At this point, I looked over to see her friend glowering in the direction of my boyfriend.

I'm a fairly tolerant drunk having done a fair amount of silly things when under the influence but even my alcohol blitzed mind, I was bowled over by the ridiculousness of the situation. The whole thing was a flashback to middle school minus the note saying "Do you like me? Circle Yes or No" and dripping with a John Wayne machismo that I never find attractive.

I was actually at a loss for words and, if you've read the posts on this blog, you can probably guess that rarely ever happens. As my alcohol-soaked, mind slowly chugged away at what to say to duck out of the situation, I see her friend coming at us as his friend's hand held me firmly in place.

HIM: "I'm from California. I like you. You're too good for that guy you're with."
ME: "Oh, you gathered all that from stalking us tonight? I gotta go."
HIM: "... Ok, but you want to get my number just in case?"
ME: "If we're meant to be together I'm sure I'll see you around."

I then yanked my arm out of his friend's grasp and walked quickly away. Where was my then-boyfriend during all this? Downing shots in the back of the bar oblivious to what happened. I soon tired of doing the 10pm-6am drink fests and decided to drop that lifestyle and the boyfriend. As for the guy at the bar who wanted to fight my boyfriend, I never saw him again so I guess it wasn't meant to be. Darn.


Shaan Khan said...

@Why I'll never understand men

not that I don't understand why you're pissed off, but if your bf was at a place where he couldn't see what was happening, how could he have known?
Sounds like you wanted him to use his esp to appear and fend off the real asshole.

Peking Man said...

Today's punchline? "Why I'll never understand men".

Personally? I'll never understand the compulsion to blog pointless stories about meaningless drunken interactions as if they were indicators of some larger trend.

But then again, I have just blogged my response to today's post over at A Peking Man.

Oh the irony! :D

Maggie said...

ha! this is quite amazing. i can't believe the heat that you get on your own blog. china dirt, i can almost see your mind clicking... but ignore ignore ignore. don't go there. this APM, poor excuse of a human being, obviously is just trying to get your goat, and to crap all over your blog in order to get readership. pretty pathetic. but then again, with a name like that, what else could anyone expect, right?

Kyle said...

"I soon tired of doing the 10pm-6am drink fests and decided to drop that lifestyle and the boyfriend."

Just because you stay at the bar till 6am doesn't mean you have to be drinking the whole time. When you feel drunk have a glass of water.

It's ok to be an alcoholic, as long as you're controlling the alcohol and not vice versa. If you don't like to dance then I can understand not liking the club scene, but no one is forcing you to drink. I have the best times at bars when it's a big group of friends, a little bit of alcohol, and a lot of dancing.

Lisa said...

I've noticed that Caucasian-American men often have this bizarre competitive streak. It's like when a group of guy friends at a party decide to all hit on the same woman at once, when the rational thing would be to each go hit on separate girls. It's not enough to get the girl, they also have to prove themselves "better" than the other guy. It's very silly.

Wow, I've accidentally explained US foreign policy!

nanheyangrouchuan said...


Sounds like you'll never be able to function in your home country.

Yuanzhi said...

Why you will never understand men?

It's like, ..., it just came down to that. I mean, ... apparently, that dude from California was cocky and ignorant... yet, the issue, the issue is that:

It was all about his ego...
And obviously his life was

And an oblivious man in such a situation, should get dumped... at the end of the day.

And yes, vice versa, many men find it extremely complicated to grasp what's on womens' mind...

Jason said...

Haha. What a douche bag.

@ All the hostile peeps:
Chill out. It's just a blog. Don't be so threatened by a feminine voice. (You excluded Peking Man. You got blogged about. :)

MonyetNakal said...

Great blog. It's always interesting to see another perspective, even if a bit swisted.

I agree but for a different reason. Why go all the way to China and get a western girlfriend (or even boyfriend)? I can never understand it? Don't get me wrong I love western girls, but it's like eating western food overseas, insane.

Ron said...

wow, lisa, that was so clever how you backed into that tired, run-of-the-mill bitch about american foreign policy.

let this caucasian-american clarify. yes, caucasian americans like to fight. but so do hispanics and african-americans.

and we do it rather well. enough so that many countries around the world barely pretend to have an army. hmmm, we wouldn't be sending american foreign aid to your country, would we? no one ever complains about that.

zz said...

Kyle, I have yet heard of anyone being alcoholic and still maintain good control on the drinks when they start knocking back...

Louie said...

Yo Ron

Bing said...


"Wow, I've accidentally explained US foreign policy!"

That's quite unexpected and very funny. It made me laugh ... thanks!

btw, pay no attention to those creeps.

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