Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Myspace is a place for creeps and wierdos, Series One

This isn't so much China related as it is just creepy guy related...

Being embarassingly vain we all want to put our best faces forward even when it's only on a internet networking site like; but as soon as you put up a halfway decent picture of yourself, you're flooded with the slimy messages from slimy men. It's funny how similar most messages are to one another yet the sender probably thinks they're being incredibly smooth or original. Heads up Myspace messagers: If you send any messages like the ones below, you are neither smooth nor original. You are a douchebag and there's no way in hell I'd ever respond to you as you probably have a nice little repetoir of STDs to accompany your repetoir of come ons. That being said, we will reply here on blogspot so the whole internet world can see what we really want to say.

SUBJECT LINE: beautiful
MESSAGE: You are so beautiful. I am coming to China in a month and would love to meet you. I find it ironic that as I leave for China I see the most beautiful girl in the world. -T

OUR REPLY: Oh how ironic it is T that you happen upon my Myspace page just as you're about to fly over here. I'm so overwhelmed by both of our lucks, I KNOW it must be yuanfen. Oh wait, out of your 300 friends about 299 are scantily clad Asian girls. As much as we would adore being part of the Asian fetish orgy you seem to be having on Myspace we're going to have to politely abstain from your invitation.

SUBJECT LINE: hi beautiful
MESSAGE: hi beautiful, are you still in Beijing or back in the US? I am looking for nice people in Beijing cause I am new there (just started a new job): I need a social life and some action.

OUR REPLY: Gee thanks! You're here for some action? By "nice people" would you possibly mean "easy girls"?

More to come later. Send in your Myspace messages! The spite-fest can only get better...

1 comment:

James A said...

Geez bitter at all? Actually I just wanted to say that I find most of the content pretty insightful and correct from even my (male) standpoint.

You have to look at it this way, some (not all)Chinese women are incredibly easy but somehow make it look like they are not. Very few men in their lives ever get to have all the sex they want and when they get here they can, so they do. It is just human nature.

You know, when I was 16 all the girls went for the bastards who owned cars, nice guys didn't get a look in. By the time I was 23 or so then the girls had got bored of that and started going out with and getting married to the nice guys who had grown up and knew how to treat them right.

White guys in China are a little like that too- they go out with all of the Chinese girls they can because they are pretty, thin and available. They then get bored after a few years of having nothing in common with them, having to deal with different cultural expectations and families etc. Eventually they go back to white women in China or go home. Some get married to Chinese girls because there are some wonderful girls in China who are really decent people- I know lots of very stable marriages to between westerners and Chinese.

Anyway, men are dicks. Men are thick headed and stupid but there are a few of us decent men out there.

If you want a piece of advice go for guys who have been here at least 4 years, who have had Chinese girlfriends but can't deal with the cultural differences, who have achieved at least some success in China as opposed to just staying here because they are scared to go home and who don't hang around in clubs all the time or have major booze/ drug habits from the stress.